The Hooters Conspiracy
28 April 06
There’s an old joke about a woman who thinks her breasts are too small. She goes to see a mystic or voodoo priest—something along those lines—and asks if he can put a spell on her to make her boobs larger.
“Done,” he says. “From now on, whenever a man apologizes to you your breasts will grow.”
Ecstatic that she’s finally found a solution to her problem, she leaves the mystic and skips down the street, not paying attention to where she’s going.
A guy bumps into her and promptly apologizes. Her breasts grow, straining against her blouse. “Wow! This really works!” she says to herself, then continues skipping along. Another guy bumps into her and apologizes twice. To the young woman’s surprise, her breast grow twice as much. She’s now a full C-cup and happier then ever.
Then she almost trips over an old Chinese man’s cane. He peers at her apologetically through glaucoma-clouded eyes and says: “A thousand pardons, miss.”
This week brings the happy news that Chinese women’s breasts are getting larger. While some cite prosaic explanations like improved nutrition (or else, depending on how you look at it, even worse nutrition), I can’t help but think this is somehow related to China getting its first Hooters restaurant.
Clearly, Hooters is dumping hormones in the water supply.
[Via Attu]
