30 May 06 in Found
Today darling Chelsea Girl brings us a heartwarming tale of (what else?) one lil’ white girl’s love for a big black cock.
So it pains me to admit this: the biggest cock I’ve ever encountered happened to be attached to an African-American man.
I should, in all fairness, note that cocks numbers 2 and 3 in the great size pantheon were attached to two white Brits. Tall, skinny boys both. One, Rex, had a floofy ass like a girl. The other, David, did not. Each of them had a sizeable member, and each of them dwarfed the cocks of the other men of African, Caribbean, or Afro-Caribbean descent with whom I have fucked.
But Bobby Lee, his cock was a colossus. It strode the earth mightily and the earth shivered with each footstep. It towered above all cocks, a monolith of cockiness, erect and turgid, chocolate and gigantic, a skyscraper of cock, a cockian behemoth.
I exaggerate. It was a plenty big cock—it was wider in girth than my wrist. I couldn’t, for example, close my thumb and forefinger around it, which I can around my wrist, at least not with out causing Bobby Lee to wince and tell me to cut it out. It was long, too. My memory has no doubt embiggened it, as it has so many other things—my childhood snowfalls; the trunk of my 1970 Impala; the natural cleavage of Cyndi Swanson, with whom I went to high school, a soccer cheerleader notable both for the exuberance of her team spirit as for the size of her Cheer sweater: all of these have grown in my memory, loomed larger than life in each passing year.
But Bobby Lee’s cock reached 3/4 up my forearm (when you’re in bed, your arm becomes a very facile measuring stick. You can’t very well pull out a tape measure).
Ironically, the smallest cock I’ve ever seen was attached to a black man. However, I really, really, really don’t want to revisit that memory.
[Via Pretty Dumb Things]
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26 May 06 in Roundup
I thought I was done with the Monster Cocks this week. Honest. But somehow they keep rearing their giant, throbbing heads.
- Chick-lit may have lost its edge in the West around the time Fear of Flying headed into its second printing, but Indonesian author Ayu Utami demonstrates that in some parts of the world women who write about sex and relationships are still considered subversives. [Nerve]
- Playboy’s much-hyped Girls of MySpace edition turns out to be every bit as dull and lifeless as one would expect from a dull and lifeless publication. [Daily Niner]
- A giant sex theme park is set to open in London in order to help Brits become better lovers. Rumor has it all the attractions will focus on improved dental hygiene. Zing! [BBC News]
- Apparently, the “peg master” is racist. In this case I think my ass might actually be relieved. [Laura the Tooth]
- Whether or not Tyra Banks is actually racist, a lot of us wish this blathering idiot would just go away. [Slate]
- South Asian chicks are afraid of the BMW—aka Black Man’s Willy. The dogged persistence of the giant blacksnake stereotype stems from women spending more time talking about black men than they do interacting with black men. [Mixed Media Watch]
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24 May 06 in Media
This Sims-like French AIDS awareness video, wherein a young woman has sex with a variety of unsatisfying partners until finally finding “the one,” has been making the internet rounds of late. At first I thought it was awful progressive that one of the young lady’s suitors is a black man—progressive, that is, until the stereotyping begins…
Continue reading “Good Girls Don't Like Big Black Cocks”...
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19 May 06 in Roundup
The Laughing Man is very happy today. Why, you ask? Because for only the third time in ethnorotica history he’s able to use the “Monster Cocks” tag.
- While it’s true that we’re a bunch of prudes here in the States, do the Germans really have to rub our faces in it by opening the world’s largest brothel? Ah, those silly Euros and their healthy attitude toward human sexuality—don’t they know sex is much hotter when you think you’re going to hell for it? [Telegraph Blogs]
- Africans pay $1,800 for 1GB of data. With my porn surfing habit I’d be broke within an hour. [CNN]
- You know those two-foot-long dongs featured on the box covers of Monster Cocks videos? They’re totally fake. I’m sure you’re just as shocked as I am. [Pornzio]
- I feel much the same about the term “women of color” as I do about the word “blog”: it’s probably the best anyone’s come up with thus far, but it still blows chunks. All the same, it’s nice to see women of color in the pasty-white BDSM scene get their due. [Fleshbot]
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5 April 06 in Smut
“Super 18” here is an old-un but a good-un. I just had to share, plus I haven’t used the Monster Cocks tag in a long time. Since this, uh, seminal video big Tony has gone on to make quite a name for himself in the monster cocks video segment.
On first impression, I called bullshit. Eighteen inches? Eighteen? Really? I mean, the dude’s clearly endowed, but eighteen fucking inches?
On second impression I wondered about the sort of woman who would find—now let’s just say for argument’s sake that the cock in question is actually eighteen inches—so I wondered about the sort of woman who would want that thing in any orifice at all, much less her (gasp!) pooper.
On third impression I wondered about the sort of guy who’d, y’know, wank it to this material. Isn’t that, y’know, a little gay? Or like a whole fucking lot gay? (Cue Jerry Seinfeld: Not that there’s anything wrong with that!) Perhaps Laura is right.
One thing’s for certain though. Eighteen inch cocks are fun for the whole fucking family!
[Via VideoBox; See also 18 Inch Anal Club]
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16 February 06 in Commentary
In a nation that thinks The Olive Garden (or the local Chef Wu’s) is exotic cuisine, it’s not surprising that adult entertainment involving non-white performers is marketed as “fetish” to the basest consumer. While I enjoy some categories of ethnic erotica the titles are so often cringeworthy that I have to take a pass on principle.
Exhibit A. I’d wager that Asian women the world over wish Full Metal Jacket had never been made. The throwaway lines “Me so horny” and “Me love you long time” have been fodder for jokes and pop songs since the movie was released almost 20 years ago. I have to hand it to them though: the geniuses of the porn marketing world do get right down to the point.
Continue reading “Why ethnorotica?”...
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